FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What makes you different from a regular CBT therapist?

We will never meet you with our own intentions of where we think session should lead. Our discussions never lead to us telling you “this is what you should do”. We hold on to your feelings, take responsibility for what is happening within us, and guide you in what is happening within you. We don’t just look at when or how the problem arises today. We follow you all the way back to when the behaviour, response or image of the self was born. We don’t ask you: why do you behave like that? We ask you about the pain behind it.

We received coaching from another company for a long time and it was OK. How quickly can you see the effect that you’re talking about?

The effect of coaching from Konciensia can be seen immediately in your everyday life provided that you are curious about what you can find. We take you from the perspective of dwelling on problems and to the choices that result from becoming aware of what is actually happening.

I already know the reason why I struggle with certain elements of leadership. Now I’m looking for the right model to follow. So I’m wondering what type of method/model do you use?

We’d invite you to read our introduction to Approach and theory: the house (link). If you don’t examine the reason behind the aspects of leadership you struggle with, it will always remain an internal struggle. With our approach, we can free you from that.

I’ve been going to the same psychologist for 10 years. It feels a bit intimidating changing now. What do you say to that?

If you have been going to the same psychologist for 10 years and still feel the need, we would invite you to an initial free session to give you the chance to decide whether what we do can really help you with your perceived obstacles in life. If you’re visiting our website, then presumably you already feel some curiosity? If you’ve read this far, look inside yourself and see if you feel curious. You’re welcome to contact us to find out more.

I already do yoga and have a psychologist. What would the difference be going to you?

The difference is that we can offer you both discussions and body-based methods, and together we can be curious about what is happening in your body and mind when we approach what is hindering you in your life. You are offered the same contact, and thus the same security.

What do you mean – coaching is measured in everyday life?

We feel that if coaching is to be effective for real, then you have to be able to feel the impact in your everyday life, at work, in the break room and in meetings. So we believe that coaching is not effective if your team doesn’t feel better and so doesn’t perform better.

Do you think that the reason I feel bad is because of how I dealt with my feelings as a child?

If as a child you did not have a safe adult who resounded with your feelings, held them, and conveyed the message that all feelings are OK, that they eventually pass, this will affect how you process feelings of various kinds as an adult.

For example, if you were taught not to cry as a child, you will probably have a hard time crying as an adult. Just because we become adults doesn’t mean a miracle happens that gives us the ability to deal with our emotions. The first step is to achieve self-compassion for why the feeling was difficult to begin with, when you were a child.

I don’t remember anything about my childhood. Can I still go to you?

If you don’t remember your childhood, we believe this is either because too much happened to us when we were a child – events that remained in us, or too little happened to us – as we did not get all our needs met. So if you’re curious about why you don’t remember your childhood, Konciensia is the answer. 

My son has a high ACE score. How can I help him now?

What you as a parent can do is be there for him – by being there for yourself. See your son as he is today, not as the experiences he has had during his life. When you view yourself with compassion, it will spread to your son, no matter what his ACE score.

I worry that I am transferring what I find difficult to my children. What can I do to get rid of that feeling?

We would look at what is uppermost for you, the fear or what you find difficult. When you can be with your fear and what you experience to be hard, there is nothing left to transfer.

I want my partner to go to you. I think they would benefit from it. Do you have any tips for convincing my partner?

The first thing we want to say is this: what is it inside you that leads you to think that your partner would benefit from coming to us? Can you be curious about that? Book a free initial session.

I want coaching that has a measurable effect. How do you measure the effect of your coaching?

The effect can be measured by following up and observing how the individual, group and organisation feels and performs. And if we don’t feel well, we don’t perform well. That’s true. We’re 100% sure of that.

My employees need training in conflict management. Do you offer that, and if so, what is it like?

What’s missing in all conflicts is awareness and compassion. By being aware of the cause of your conflicts, it will be easier to show the cause compassion. And when you have compassion for the cause of your conflicts, they lose their potency – because compassion and conflict can never coexist.

So the first question we ask employees is: what happens within you when you think about the conflict? Once we have listened to the thoughts and feelings of your employees, we’ll work together to design a suitable training course. A conflict management course that is about creating awareness and compassion. 

We need a kick-start after the summer. First we considered booking a spa for the team, but then we were really curious how would you arrange a session to get the employees energised for the autumn?

Our inspiring workshops are suitable for curious groups regardless of industry. To face yourself with curiosity and inspire one another. The theme could be: Who are you at work? How do you view yourself and what characteristics define you? And above all: why do you define yourself in that way? What does it do for you?

Our inspiring workshops are suitable for curious groups regardless of industry. To face yourself with curiosity and inspire one another. The theme could be: Who are you at work? How do you view yourself and what characteristics define you? And above all, why do you define yourself in that way? What does it do for you?

We have so-called ‘self-leadership’ in our workplace. All the employees have said that they understand what this means for their employment, but I don’t feel that any of them are delivering it in their day-to-day work. How can we support them?

Take a look at the word self-leadership, made up of two words. Self + Leadership. We believe that leadership is always about the leader and Self is always about you, the self. The ability for self-leadership is determined by how you lead yourself, your self. Leading yourself requires compassion for all parts of yourself. In order to achieve compassion, you need to be aware. You and your employees can achieve that by taking part in our Circles for U course.

As a manager, do I have to be involved in any way when it comes to coaching?
I’m satisfied as long as my employees feel that there is somewhere that provides an outlet for everything they feel, which they do not feel able to say to me, a valve. Do you think that’s bad? 

We prefer not to say that something is bad. We usually say that we think differently. What in your question can be deemed a cause and what can be deemed a symptom? What are the symptoms of your employees not having the courage to tell you things, and what are the reasons behind that?

In order to investigate these questions, one of us would work with the team using coaching, while the other would coach you in leadership coaching.